


Subtle Healing

by ALiteraryLady



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: UK
Genre: Bad guys making a comeback, Case Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, M/M, Multi, Personal development and growth, Possible alcoholism, Romance, current season fic, intense scenes and moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-15 02:14:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8038258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALiteraryLady/pseuds/ALiteraryLady
Summary: After the events of Intuitive Connection; ADA Quin Montgomery and Sergeant Mike Dodds both work through the emotional and psychological torment that sits in their minds and souls. Meanwhile, ADA Rafael Barba and the rest of SVU attempt to move on from the Gauntlet and focus on the future as they learn about themselves, their friends and their foes. Little do they know that the enemy is not always as clear as they would like.





	1. The current circumstances

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> After taking a few months off to work on some other story ideas that I had, I am ready to begin this next book in the Intuitive Connection series. I hope that you all enjoy this first chapter and will let me know what you think of it. Please feel free to read Intuitive Connection (http://archiveofourown.org/works/5232674/chapters/12068036) to get a feel for the overall tone of this series.
> 
> I thank you for your comments and suggestions as I work on this series. I have a couple other series that I will be completing on a rotational basis to keep all of my stories as up to date as possible. Enjoy!
> 
> Please feel free to follow me on tumblr: ladyzootie

The door closed on the sensory deprivation tank and the buoyancy that she felt was not a trait she would have assigned herself but welcomed the sensation of floating freely in the tank. Her eyes closed and she let her mind pour into the salt water around her.

 

_Three months...three months since I’ve seen him._

 

Dr. Lindstrom had suggested the tank after Quin confessed her intense dislike of loud noises and people. She didn’t want to make the admission to him, fearing it would add more time sitting on his lumpy sofa  baring her heart and soul to a man she barely knew, but yet, to her surprise, he was moderately understanding.

 

_“You are not the only person who craves silence, you shouldn’t have to feel alone in that Quin.”_

 

His voice echoed in the air around her.

 

_“I know,” she answered him in the memory, “but I’ve had so much to do, to handle, and well...making the admission seems wrong you know?” she confessed as she saw the faint smile_ _o_ _n his face._

_“I think your guilt is bubbling up again, you feel as if you have to conform completely to belong and we’ve talked about how you don’t-”_

_“-I know, I know but...I’ve always been shaped into what everyone else wants, even-” she felt his eyes reading her through the secret, hidden pages of her being._

_“Even Mike?”_

_Quin squirmed against his astute push on her bruised emotions._

 

_Am I changing myself for Mike, like I did to survive Arthur?_

 

Her body rested in the water, allowing her psyche to be cradled by the warm, gentle water. She let out a sigh as she slipped into a semi-conscious state, a common occurrence for some in the tank. The technician told her upon her first session that sitting down she could see hallucinations and hear them as well, which she had been hoping for. The time of coddling her demons was over, she wanted to eviscerate them and be back with Mike.

Several hours with Dr. Lindstrom and yet she still wasn’t cleared to go to work or to see Mike. Being cut off from him was the hardest part of her ‘recovery’; physically she craved to hold him close and bond with him like she had the evening of their shared nightmare had started, but emotionally she desired above all else to sense his heart and feel the peace she prayed he was granted after their time in the gauntlet.

 

They were in the tub, her back resting against his chest, his hands cleaning her as he chuckled. The mutual bliss matching the atmosphere of the dim candlelight, bright but soft, as his hands massaged her hair and scalp as he told her about how they’d have two weeks together instead of just one; Benson had been generous enough to let her and Mike rekindle their romance. She heard the sound of him kissing her, but didn’t feel the love and the moment his touch granted her.

 

_It was just a fantasy_ .

 

Once again, like the last several times her mind played out the moment, Mike’s hands went from soft and attentive to rough and violent. Upon looking back at him in the tub, he had been replaced by the tormentor from her real life—Arthur Cutlass.

 

_“Quinnie, you’ve let yourself go!” his left hand yanked her hair, jerking her head upright as his right hand dove into her again, each finger diving between her nether lips and forcing them open._

_“Get it all clean!” his sadistic laughter filled her ears and the tank as Quin struggled to get away from the phantom violation._

 

“NO! No! Stop! Mike!” Quin wailed as the tank door opened and the nurse’s voice broke through her terror.

“Quin, Quin it’s okay, you’re here and safe, okay? Let’s get you out of here and into some nice dry clothes, huh?”

Quin let each breath exit her lips quickly as if they were diving into a life boat as she let the nurse help her stand up.

“Do you want me to get Dr. Lindstrom?”

“No! No, please I’m okay...I’ll just go home.” she stated as the nurse looked at her incredulously.

“I really think you should see him, this is the third time you’ve had an outburst-”

She answered the nurse with a quick shake of her head, “No—please let me change and go...” her desperation dripped off her words as the nurse stepped aside and let Quin make her way over to her locker.

“I’ll let you change then, Ms Montgomery.” the nurse bowed as Quin watched her leave. Once she knew she was alone, Quin felt her body slump to the ground as fat tears fell from her face.

“Its not fair...why can’t I see you...why does he get to take you away from me too!” she lamented as the anguish beat against her head. She collected herself off of the ground and peeled away the wet-suit, then toweled herself off and pulled on her clothes. It felt like ages since she had made herself put on anything more than yoga pants and t-shirt, but as the jeans moved up her thighs, Quin noticed that the bruises from Arthur were getting harder to see.

 

_Progress?_

 

A knock on the door startled her as she pulled on her sweater and shoes.

“Quin?” Ronnie asked, his paternal tone bringing a bit of ease to her soul.

“Yes, Ronnie?” she chided herself upon hearing her own water logged voice.

“Love, you alright...this time was right short compared to the other ones.”

Quin packed up her wet-suit into her bag and gathered her belongings as she walked towards the door, “I’m okay Ronnie...I’ll get some lunch, okay?” she finished her statement as she opened the door and saw him standing there- her coat draped over his left arm, his right holding her scarf, the tan one that still weakly smelled like Mike.

“I’ll get lunch, but we’ve gotta go, Carisi wants to swing by to say hello.”

“Oh...Carisi is going to be there...I look a mess.”

Ronnie waved off her self-consciousness, “Love, he’s your bestie, right? He doesn’t care—you aren’t covered in blood-”

Quin watched the recognizable sorrow flood back into his eyes and took his hand.

“Ronnie...let’s go..and you’re right, they’re all glad I’m okay, I’m sorry--” she stopped as he hugged her, a new yet welcomed addition to their friendship.

“Okay Love...let’s go then.” he replied as he helped her get her jacket on. Quin took the scarf from him and in her mind saw Mike wearing it, a smile on his face as the blue shirt he was in made his eyes sparkle. In that moment, he only saw her and only wanted her.

She wrapped it around her neck and smiled at Ronnie.

“Ready?” he inquired as she linked arms with him, her eyes a bit watery.

“Completely.”

He returned her smile, “Good, I hear this place we’re meeting Carisi at lets you cook the food.”

Quin chuckled, “Right up his alley...”

“He’s cooking for all of us, I’m a rubbish chef myself.”

“I’ll be sure to fill him in.”

 

 

 

_Serbia, freaking Serbia?! Of all the places you could haul my ass off too--_

 

The harsh snap of twigs breaking beneath their feet pulled Patrice out of her mind as Bishop’s hand reached out for her and dragged her up and over the barricade. A wave of bullets whipped past them as they ran towards the truck he had hot-wired. Patrice bolted to the passenger side and flung the door open.

“MOVE!” she barked at the duo of girls huddled together in the middle of the seat. Like cockroaches exposed to sunlight the girls scattered to the back of the truck and Patrice took her seat.

“Buckle up!” Bishop ordered as Patrice gave him side eye. His arms tensed up as his white knuckled hands turned the key in the ignition and then grasped the steering wheel column. The truck roared back to life and through the side mirror she saw a massive white puff of exhaust shoot out of the bottom of the truck.

Patrice buckled herself in and cocked her head back at the girls. Both of them were statuesque blondes with glassy blue-green eyes. Needle marks littered their exposed forearms and Patrice gave them a tepid smile.

“They know exactly zero English.” Bishop told her as she turned her attention back to him. He looked ragged; the mountain man ginger and white speckled beard did nothing for him and his eyes were bloodshot from one too many sleepless nights, but Patrice still felt her respect for him in her chest.

 

_I’d still be in jail if you hadn’t smashed into the prison van I was in-_

 

She mused as he looked at her, the sound of bullets hitting their truck diminishing the further away they drove from the compound.

“What?” he demanded as she felt her face stiffen.

“Nothing...so...what are we going to do with the Olsen twins back there? No English language skills and we’re deep in the hellscape of the Serbian wilderness...”

Bishop sighed, “I have local contacts-”

Patrice laughed, “Really? Local contacts?” she teased as a log rolled down hill and Bishop made a sharp turn to avoid it. Frantic Serbian accented wails escaped the ‘Olsen twins’ mouths as the truck returned on all four tires and Patrice shot him a dirty look.

“I see driving like a maniac isn’t just a stateside hobby.” she snarked out as she pulled her scarf over her nose.

“It was that or the log jacking up the truck tires, which one would you have preferred?!” he hotly shot back at her as she rolled her eyes.

“Fine, what about them?”

“Right now...they need to detox. There is a guy I know who will help me out. I’ve been doing this on and off for a few months, I built up some kind of rapport with him. I don’t know what kind of welcome wagon I will get in return but...” he stopped as the twins in the back whimpered softly as they held each other.

Patrice turned her head around and held an eyebrow up at them.

“But?”

Bishop returned his total focus back to driving as the ice on the road looked thicker with each truck length they traveled.

“Nothing...”

Patrice scoffed, “Nothing doesn’t usually make you shut up like that-”

A white puff of breath drifted out of his mouth, “Fine...but it doesn’t matter you’re a wanted criminal-”

“Gee….thanks.” Patrice glared at him.

“Heh, fine, I have a kid now, okay?”

Patrice looked at him as a ripple of emotion racked her being.

 

_You’re a father now, why in the hell are you here instead of taking care of your Goddamned child?!_

She shook her head and got back on track, “Kid huh? Boy or-”

“Baby girl.” the softness in his tone signaled his conflict.

“Does she have a name?” Patrice pushed, trying to use the moment to get Bishop to actually talk about himself.

“Jesse...her mother called last week. She’s a few months old….spitting image of her mom, thank God, because I am no crown prince to look at.”

Patrice rested her hand on his shoulder, a gesture which oddly enough felt natural to her.

“Princes are overrated, Kings on the other hand, you get the scruff look and land rights.”

Bishop’s laugh made the twins in the back jump in their seat.

“Whatever you’ve gotta tell yourself Patrice...but uh, thanks.”

A rare smile crept up on her face, her cheeks unused to their new positioning.

“No problem, so ever gonna see the little rugrat?”

“One of these days, but her mother is gonna watch her like a hawk, so she’s in excellent hands.”

“Good.” Patrice said as her hand returned to her lap and she sat next to him in mutual silence.

 

_Glad to know that even smugglers get to have families._

 

 

 

Jesse's wails made Carisi's eyes dart up from his textbook and glance over at the baby seat sitting at Fin's desk. Rollins had begged for a good minute for Fin to watch her after she had gifted them with her thank you cards for the gifts from her baby shower. He had known that the heated diaper wipe contraption he gave her was being put to good use and it put a smile on his face when she had given him his card. Rollins was handing out a few others in the precinct as Fin was looking at Jesse, not sure what to do with the crying baby before him.

Carisi sprang up from his seat, letting his text book fall shut as he called out to Jesse, “Woah, woah, there Jesse!” he cooed at the red cheeked baby as Fin covered his ears and gave Carisi a look.

“C'mon, Uncle Sonny has you..” Carisi got out again as he picked her up out of her seat and began to rock her in his arms as if he was actually her uncle. Soon the placated Jesse was all smiles and Fin uncupped his ears.

“How did you do that?” the senior detective asked him as Jesse expressed her gratitude with a happy, beaming smile.

“Do what? Fin, you just hold 'em and bounce 'em,” he looked at Jesse, “just like I taught your mom huh?” he added as he flashed Jesse a smile.

“You are some baby whisperer.” Fin joked as Carisi saw the rare display of paternal love spread out on Fins' face.

“I have like five nieces...comes with the territory you know?” Carisi answered as another round of bashful smiles came to Jesse's face and her drool covered hands rested on his face.

“Oh that's-”

“-that's my girl!” Rollins babbled at Jesse, taking her out of his arms and holding her as her free hand grabbed a baby cloth and wiped her daughter off. Carisi opened his eyes once he felt Jesse out of his arms and quickly wiped the drool off of his face.

“Did you say hi to detective Carisi?” Rollins asked Jesse whose expression was more sullen since her mother had plucked her out of Carisi's arms, her blue eyes questioning when he'd be holding her again.

“Hey, c'mon what's a guy gotta do to become her uncle?” Carisi cajoled Rollins as he watched his work partner use the same bouncing technique to soothe her, and then handed her a fox plushie that Jesse began to stick into her mouth.

“Be my brother, if we want to get technical with it.”

Her change in expression signaled to him that he had to be looking dejected to her, but in a way since Jesse had been born and even before he had been a rather attentive uncle to her.

“Amanda, he's actually good with her.” Fin added as Rollins looked at him.

“Well, you two did keep her alive...she has two uncles who can do that now..”

Carisi felt his being get lighter, “Really?!” he exclaimed as Jesse handed him her fox plushie and he took it and teased her with it.

Fin rolled his eyes, “Alright but Carisi is gonna have to do most of the 'uncle-ing', I've got Ken so my parenting days are over...I'll be a supervisor to make sure he doesn't bounce her too much.”

Jesse made a noise and Fin raised an eyebrow at her, as Carisi saw a subdued smile spread across Fin's face.

 

_You're gonna make Ken and Alejandro's baby a great grandpa someday._

 

“Jesse thinks otherwise, doesn't she?” Rollins countered as she put Jesse in her car seat right as the elevator doors opened and the four of them saw Benson and Barba exit and beeline it to Benson's office, promptly closing the door behind themselves.

“Looks like mom and dad are fighting again, thank you NYPD for six weeks of maternity leave, of which I have two left. See you guys, it's time for lunch.” Rollins looked down at Jesse and stroked her cheek with the backside of her finger, garnering a smile from the infant.

“You two enjoy and we'll let you know what happens.” Fin said as he went back behind his desk.

“Thanks, and nice grave pics from the Ryan case...still bummed that I missed that one...”

Rollins got out as she bundled her and Jesse up when she looked back at Carisi.

“Say 'bye bye' to uncle Carisi!”

His face lit up with a grin as he waved at the blue eyed infant.

 

_Thanks, Amanda._

 

 

 

Barba closed the office door behind her and knew their talk was going to be unpleasant as they came.

“How could you arrest Brian?!” her voice swelled in the small space between them as she brushed her hair back out of her eyes with one hand. He had noticed over the last few months that she had been growing it out; several messages still sat in his phone's queue about her getting bangs or leaving them grown out, as if she was unsure about what to do with her current state of being. Unfortunately, the threadbare nature of her uneasiness with command was showing, she no longer seemed interested in keeping up her appearance as she had when Chief Dodds had dropped his son off at 'SVU daycare' and left her with a new sergeant who didn't know how SVU worked.

“Liv, I had no choice, the moment Carisi told me I had to act on it, if Arthur's legal team got wind of it we'd be majorly screwed-”

Her eyes widened, “-just like you've been majorly screwing me over? How long have you and Carisi been an item?” She demanded as she walked behind her desk and sat down, then shot her eyes up at him.

“You really want to have this conversation, now...aqui?”

“No, because I know you'll bring up all sorts of incidents in my jacket as fodder to use in that sort of situation!” her hot reply stung his ears as he held back a long string of curse words.

“I have better things to do then bring up your jacket-”

She scoffed, “Yes, like have a relationship with one of my best detectives and toss a good friend of mine in jail—you're already so busy!”

 

_I'm not in the mood for this nonsense, friend or not!_

 

“You know, I am charging Cassidy with attempted murder, he almost killed Quin-”

Olivia bolted up out of her chair, “Don't you think I know that?! Damnit Barba, Carisi shouldn't have-”

Barba's eyes glared at her, “What? Done his civic duty by telling me that Quin identified her attacker in some horrific nightmare world?! Honestly Liv, you'd ask him to carry that around inside of him to protect an ex?!” his face was red, flushed from his own anger about the situation but he kept his gaze on her as he continued, “I almost arrested Mike, Liv. I almost sent one of the most reasonable people in your squad to jail!”

He saw a brim of tears in her eyes but couldn't hold back any longer.

 

_I've held your hand for too long, Liv._

 

“You've changed-” Olivia tempted to counter but Barba shook his head.

“No, you've changed. Ever since you got you Lieutenant bars, Lewis, adopting Noah and the Gauntlet situation...Olivia, digame, what's going on?”

She walled him off with her crossed arms over her chest.

“You're joking, now you care? Barba, Carisi watched her forgive Brian...they've made amends...”

“He shot an ADA! You don't get a free pass on that Liv—you just don't! Damnit!” his hands slapped the top of her desk and he saw her twitch. His heart paused and he saw a flash of her hidden PTSD float to the top of her consciousness as she took in a breath and spoke,

“I will be finding Cassidy the best lawyer I can, I owe him that much.” she hissed.

“I'm taking him to trial along with Ives and Cutlass...everyone who hurt her is going to pay for it...you don't get to shoot one of us-”

Her frustrations reached a fevered peak, “-oh stop with the sanctimonious bullshit Barba—you didn't even like her when she got back from her abduction! You constantly mocked and belittled her, snapped at her and Mike-” Barba felt her use her slight height to glare at him, “-who in the hell do you think you are?” she hissed at him.

“I'm someone who doesn't think a cop should be able to shoot an officer of the court!” his voice sounded foreign to him as it became a growl, “Call Rita, Buchanan is already defending one of the bad guys, go for it, but don't tell me that I'm a hypocrite.”

A smirk came to her face, “You care about Quin, now, because it's lucrative for you too-” “-and it isn't for you? She's dating your second in command and his father is your boss! Liv, you can't hide this, and the more you try to, the more dirt I have to dig up and you'd be surprised how well a boy from the Bronx can dig.”

Her chuckle broke the tension between them as she recapped their exchange.

“So, you're going to send Bri to what, Sing Sing, and prosecute him, along with Ives and Cutlass, and you won't let Quin testify in those trials but to send Cassidy upstate? Line her up and slap on the most innocent looking outfit to get what you want!”

“Olivia, so help me God...” he began as she railroaded over his declaration.

“You're really going to put her through that, and not even use it to put those monsters away?! What happened Barba, case win percentage getting a bit low?” she puffed her breath at him as his instincts pinged at him.

 

_Are you under the influence right now?!_

 

He saw the flabbergasted look on her face and answered her, “Yes, I am, because it's my fucking job! And, just so you know my percentage has gone up three percent over these last few weeks!”

Tears freely flowed down her face as he pressed onward, “I don't like it Liv, not one bit but at the end of my day, it's my job and Olivia...I have to do it, just like you should be doing yours.” Barba took in a sharp breath and grabbed his briefcase.

 

_You're really going to have this conversation with me while you're drunk...who the hell are you?!_

 

Barba left her office and slammed the door behind him as Carisi's svelte frame was right next to him, his lover's gentle hand rested on his shoulder as his beloved walked with him to the elevator.

“Rafi—I...what's going to happen?!” Carisi stammered in a hushed tone as Barba looked up at him.

“A war. And then? Hopefully some justice.” Barba answered as he shrugged off his beloved's touch and closed the elevator doors, welcoming the silence.


	2. Step by step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter of Subtle Healing we see Mike working to recover, Munch and Fin catching up on their lives, and Tomas finally makes her appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story, I appreciate your continued readership. Please feel free to leave any kudos or comments, I ask that any criticism be addressed in a considerate manner.
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr for updates, I'm ladyzootie on there.

Mike finished his rep and sat the dumbbell down as he looked up. Ever since the aftermath in the hospital his father had been glued to him as frequently as his work scheduled allowed. He couldn’t breathe without his father trailing him and littering his ears with his own commentary about how Mike was living his life.

 

_“Mike, really that haircut?”_

_“Mike, I met this lovely little lady in my office the other day and she says she’s single.”_

_“You can do more than that, c’mon Mike, get your head in the game.”_

 

_Its like I’m in high school all over again…_

 

“How is the physical therapy going?” His father asked as Mike saw the knowing look on his face, his father’s eyes reading him.

“Up to twenty reps dad, same as the last three days...” Mike sighed as his father waved off his comments.

“-I know, I know, I thought maybe you’d be recovering faster than average, now that would be one hell of a feather in your cap, being back before your PT is done, that’s the stuff that makes you a chief before 50, I should know, I--”

Biting his tongue around him made Mike wearier than the lack of sleep he’d been getting over the last couple of months, and he couldn’t hold back.

“Dad, the whole point of therapy is to take the time to get back and to be healthy, that would be the best gift I could give SVU...”

“Well yes, but I want your focus to be on getting back out there, back to being Benson’s second in command...” his father’s voice was tight and Mike knew he was stressed about his recovery.

 

_I can’t recover and support you, it just isn’t possible for me._

 

He stood up and felt the stiffness in his leg. The injury was still store, the bullet that had ripped through his thigh had taken more muscle than previously thought, but he was able to walk short distances without the use of a cane and he was pleased with his progress.

 

_Now if Dad could actually be pleased…_

 

“Mike, here let me...” his father attempted to help him, but Mike shrugged off the assistance. His physical therapist, a lovely petite brunette named Molly had been helping him out and she made it clear he was more than ready to handle small distances on his own, it would build up his muscle memory and confidence.

“Dad,” Mike started as he went towards his cane, “can you stop telling my therapist I’m single, we’ve been over this.” he paused as a trio of slim statuesque women flocked past him and waved at him, two of them even being so bold as to blow him kisses as he turned his attention to his dad, who was flirting back with the single redhead, giving her a wink.

“Mikey...you haven’t seen her in a few months-” his father sputtered out as he trailed him.

“Three...it’s been three months, dad.” Mike spat back as he regretted his tone. William Dodds never did endure his emotions well, which is why Mike spent decades repressing them.

 

_I miss you so much, Quin_

 

“However long, and they said that she’ll be able to see you when she’s ready of course but Mike I gotta ask-”

Mike’s hand coiled into a fist at his side as he flattened it and looked at his father, “She’s working through a nightmare and it isn’t fast enough for you? Really?”

His father’s eyes grew larger as he held his arms up in defense, “Mikey all I’m saying is that she doesn’t seem to be-”

“She’s trying! I know she is!” he growled back at his father as a couple of people paused their reps and looked at him.

 

_Yup, just what I needed, an audience…_

 

“Stand down Mike...you’re making a scene!” his father hissed as Mike rolled his eyes. His father’s arms went to his shoulders, poorly trying to let out a couple of kinks.

“Oh I’m making the scene, you’re the ass who thinks she isn’t working at all on getting any better, but I know she is, she’s dedicated to me, to us...” he struggled off his father’s touch as he grasped his cane.

“Mike when she got out of there she looked...”

“I know how she looked, I saw her-” he blew out a breath, “-Dad, please just stop with the open and loud declaration that I’m single to any woman within a ten mile radius because I’m not!” he attempted to storm off, each step needing to be balanced with the cane and a wave of shame hit him. He felt so strange having a cane, needing a cane at his age, but if it gave him more freedom from his father, he craved it.

His father stopped following him and shouted, “She’s nice but just keep all of your options open, that’s all I’m getting at. You want this one vision for yourself and you’re tossing away chances left and right, it doesn’t make any sense to me!”

Mike whipped his head around, “I doesn’t have to make any sense to you, it isn’t your damn life!”

The stunned look on his father’s face made him smile a bit as he turned his gaze back to the locker room and walked in. He sat down on a bench and pulled out his cellphone from his grey hoodie pocket. Carisi had been able to send him a picture of Quin at lunch last week and he saw the soft smile on her face and greeted the image with one of his own.

 

_I miss you, please come back to me, it’s hard to do any of this without you...it really is._

 

He brushed away the stray tear on his cheek and let out a sigh. Mike slowly stood up and let out a groan, his leg was pulsing with pain but he slowly changed out of his work out clothes and into his jeans and shirt. His mind buzzed with the though of feeling her hand hold his, her voice tell him that he was perfect, and her body wrapped around his.

A breath left his mouth,

“I’m going to be with you again, I am...”

 

 

 

**

 

 

Munch watched his former partner bite into the monster sized burger- a faint growl then a moan of delight fleeing from Fin’s form as the younger man swallowed the bite. Both of them finally found a moment to get lunch and Munch felt relief at being able to see his friend was alive and moderately well. With SVU being down Dodds, Fin had been racking up over time like it was his civic duty, but had also shed a few pounds from his frame, the latter giving him reason to be worried.

“You and that burger gonna need the table to yourself?” he joked at he took a bite of his own lunch.

Fin cocked an eye at him and lowered the burger from his mouth.

“We could, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon through...how you been?”

Munch couldn’t restrain a smile.

 

_There is the sass pot I worked with for eons._

 

“Okay, I got cleared to go back to my special investigator gig, and I feel as fresh as a daisy.” he replied as his arms stretched as Fin took another bite.

“Glad to have you back...so Huang cleared your crazy ass huh?”

Munch chuckled, “He has before—remember the case with the cult a while back, the one with those kids? Liv and I had to work together so you and Stabler could...” he watched Fin’s face grow soft and silent.

“Yeah, damn thought you’d be gone...worried about you a bit you know...I really had to step away for a bit after that one, thought you’d have to do the same.”

Munch patted his hand, “I’m here and I plan on sharing my government conspiracies with you until the end of time.”

Fin’s mouth let a rare smile appear, “I should be so lucky...I just thought the case would break you, you’re like a walking skeleton...so, how is Cassidy doing?”

Munch took his hand back and examined the pair in his lap.

“He’s trying, 1PP put him on desk duty with IAB and he’s struggling.”

“Yeah, Cassidy kinda struck me as desk shy...from what you told me about him.” Fin took a sip of his soda.

“He doesn’t want any visitors but Huang’s been checking up on him, says he’s depressed but stable.”

“Good, can’t lose another one to this whole gauntlet thing...”

Munch eyed his former better half, “Lose? We’re all here, alive and well as can be.”

Fin sighed and grabbed a couple fries and dabbed them into the pile of ketchup on his plate, “Munch, I’m talking about Montgomery and Dodds, they’re gonna be gone and even then, can you blame them? The videos out there from the damn thing, you can’t get that crap off the internet, or even the dark net for that matter.”

He hated hearing the reserved caution and fear in his friend’s voice.

“Those two are strong, they’re gonna pull through this.”

 

_Will they though?_

 

“You’re right, they will….” Fin stopped as Munch saw the well known look in his friend’s face. Fin glanced up from his phone, “Live needs me for a case..gotta go.” Fin shoved one last fry into his mouth as his hands fished for a bill but Munch handed the twenty back.

“John...”

Munch studied him, “Fin, it’s on the house...two of my exes got married so my alimony got cut in half, I feel like a prince again and besides you’re gonna be a grandpa soon, save the extra funds for your grandchild.”

Begrudgingly Fin shoved the money back into this wallet.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, I’ll catch up with you.”

“Yeah and if I hear anything about Quin or Mike, I’ll fill you in.”

Munch sighed, “Thanks.”

Fin walked out of the diner and Munch took a sip of his lukewarm tea. In his mind he saw a pair of hands clasped and knew that both Mike and Quin would be okay, even if he couldn’t see it.

 

_Keep strong you two...show me that real love can actually make it in this lifetime, alright?_

 

 

**

 

 

Her mind slowly slapped against her mind, her focus was hazy. The buzzer in the prison hallway ripped through her ears as a chunk of her red hair stuck to the side of her face. Tomas forced herself to get up, pulling her head off of her pillow as she sat up right and tied her hair back with a strip of fabric she’d found during her one hour outside in the yard. She adjusted her top; it was the same orange jumper she’d been poorly fitted with when she’d been processed into Sing Sing. Three months had passed since her arrest and she was awaiting trial in the men’s ward, her mind went back to when ADA Barba has promised her he’d be able to keep her safe.

 

_What a bunch of bullshit…_

 

Tomas climbed down the top bunk and did her best not to wake up her cellmate, a large Dominican Republic man named San Luis who been giving her a massive amount of grief about her identity. Tomas kept him a bay by telling him she’d contacted the Zika virus before her incarceration, thankful for the tidbit the news stations prattled on about but she eventually knew she’d have to become his ‘bitch’ and be broken in or somehow assume dominance, the latter practically impossible due to his size.

She brushed her teeth and took in her state in the plastic, reflective mirror. Once more her body’s betrayal of her true self was vivid. The hormone supplements she was supposed to take were denied to her due to a lunch brawl that had given her a black eye and a twisted ankle during her first week here. Tomas despised having to take them to “prove” her desire to be female, she was already a woman, even if the biological components felt no reason to agree with her, her heart and soul was female and she felt a small ounce of peace with that.

Her hand went to her throat and she felt the rough stubble on her neck and chin. Tomas sighed and took the small razor she lifted out of the laundry room and turned on the sink, only letting a small trickle of water out and shaved her face. Her mind went towards a mental safe haven which took her to the one person she wanted to see more than any other.

 

_Patrice_

 

The long wavy black hair of her cohort blew about, her eyes, shining with a renewed passion and determination welcomed Tomas as she felt her ally hold and comfort her. Before this person was Arthur and during the gauntlet, Quin, but in this incarnation, it felt real, genuine and passionate as Patricie’s eyes shined before her.

 

_Now I see the spice of life I tossed away-_

 

“IVES! AVAREZ!!!” the security guard shouted as his baton smacked against the bars of her cell. Tomas dropped her razor and swore beneath her breath as her cellmate shot up out of his bed and smacked his head on the railing of her bunk.

“Assume the position! You two have a new work detail!” the guard, a massively tall man stated as Tomas put her hands behind her head, fingers laced and legs spread shoulder width apart. Her cellmate leaned towards her, rubbing his own head, as he took a whiff of her.

“Don’t get any ideas...Zika, remember?!” she hissed as the brute grinned at her.

“Stand in place!” the guard barked at San Luis, who rolled his eyes and assumed the position. Soon her and the brute were chained together and Tomas felt the guard roughly grab her arm. A sadistic sneer came to his lips as Tomas swallowed the bile bubbling in her throat.

He leaned down and pushed his lips against her ear,

“I’ll see you later...red.”


End file.
